Baseball notes, Jazz in the Park, and Triumph at the Tonys [sp?]

The Brewers are looking like they're back on track, having won their last 4 on the road against AL teams. They take on the Twinkies from Minnesota this afternoon, and win or lose, it will have been a successful road trip for the Crew. I get to welcome them home on Monday when top Brewer prospect Yovani Gallardo makes his first appearance and takes the mound against douchebag Barry Bonds and the San Francisco Giants.

Meanwhile, after scaring me a little bit for the last few days, the Cubs reminded me that they are still the Cubs.



Nice swing Derek Lee. Nice swing. Can anyone tell me why Zambrano was taking off his pants during that fight?

UPDATE: Okay, we lost to the Twinkies 10 to 9. But we made a hell of a comeback, fought hard and made it a hell of a game. Plus, Prince Fielder hit an inside the park home run. And it was awesome (It's the second highlight at the link).
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But enough about baseball. Last Thursday, I made my first appearance at Jazz in the Park at Cathedral Square. Jazz in the Park is a prime example of the adage, "nothing attracts a crowd like a crowd." Each Thursday, a jazz band sets up in Cathedral Square Park and plays. Thousands of people gather in the park, lay out blankets, drink wine, eat stinky soft cheese, enjoy merriment amongst friends, and totally ignore the jazz band that is playing. Good times, good times. Jazz in the Park usually proves to be a solid cross section of Milwaukee. People from all walks show up: old suburbanites like my parents, young professional jerks like me, bikers (both kinds), hippies, motleys, college kids etc. All of the groups geographically segregate themselves within the park similar to how they do within the city. But we all unite in ignoring jazz music and consuming unhealthy stuff. What a great city.

This was my first appearance at J in the P since a dreadful outing last year when I suffered one of my more embarrassing moments. Let me preface this story by stating that I am not a clumsy guy. Not at all. I waited tables for years and routinely carried trays of improperly situated glass wear extreme distances without incident. So what follows can only be blamed on some sort of evil trickster god. So at the time I was "sort of seeing" this girl. We'll call her "K." K is a young single mom, so she doesn't get out as much as most girls her age. She came down to meet my friends and I at the park. She showed up in this white skirt and top and she looked really hot. I told her she looked great and she remarked that it was an outfit she couldn't wear around her son because he'd spill on it. If this statement isn't a harbinger of doom, I don't know what is. We're all sitting around chatting, and for some reason, I'm drinking red wine [I almost never drink wine]. All of a sudden, I just dropped my glass. Nobody ran into me and I wasn't drunk or in coke-withdrawal or anything. I just dropped it. The glass hit the ground, bounced, and spun [in slow motion] in the air and splattered all over K's hot white outfit. Everyone's jaws dropped. I am a total Jerk. K was an extremely good sport about it, and I did send her flowers and a gift certificate for the cleaners the next day. The stain came out, but the damage was done. I no longer drink red wine in parks. Anyway, my return to J in the P on Thursday was without incident.
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On the topic of unclassy things in classy places, I caught Conan O'Brien the other day and laughed my ass off at this clip of Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at the Tony Awards. Now, I don't know or care what the Tony Awards are for, but Triumph + no-name actors = gold: