Some annoying anti-alcohol group is suing Miller over their surprisingly awesome beverage, Sparks.
The Center for Science in the Public Interest said Thursday that Anheuser-Busch's Bud Extra and Tilt, and Miller's Sparks, contain stimulants that are not officially approved for use in alcohol drinks. The group also accused the companies of falsely suggesting those stimulants will help combat the effects of alcohol.
Falsely suggesting those stimulants will help combat the effects of alcohol? So Miller is telling people, "drink our alcoholic beverage. It's just like drinking a non-alcoholic beverage!"? That just doesn't make sense.
The nonprofit health advocacy group, based in Washington, D.C., will seek a judge's order prohibiting the companies from combining stimulants with alcohol.
Why do people always have to fight against convenience? The great thing about Sparks is that you just pop open the can and start drinking. No mixing involved. They even sell it at Miller Park. These people essentially want you to drink Redbull and vodka instead. Which is more expensive and less convenient.
I like this bit:
Federal regulations do not allow advertisements implying that such drinks have a stimulating effect. Nor do they allow marketing that suggests a drink can be consumed without feeling the effects of alcohol.
So first, you're not allowed to say that your drink has a stimulating effect. But here's a little secret about Sparks: it DOES have a stimulating effect! So this is a federal regulation requiring a company to lie about it's product. Secondly, you're not allowed to say that your product doesn't exhibit the properties that consumers want in your product. So it would be like if the federal government told Coke that they couldn't say, "Coke doesn't taste like Coke." What a useful law!