...and never, ever feed him after midnight.

Well, the Brewers are just about done for the season. I haven't totally given up as long as we're mathematically still in it and chasing the chokingest team that ever choked. Last night's game was a disaster and it didn't have to be. I like Ned Yost, but he's shown all year that he can't manage a bullpen. Last night, after Yost was ejected, we learned that Mike Maddux and Dale Sveum can't manage a bullpen either. Everyone in the bar I was at knew Turnbow was done after two batters. I knew before he even went in. When they finally did pull him, they brought in Brian Schouse, a true LOOGy (Lefty One Out Guy), to pitch to two right handed batters and then pulled him to let Spurling, A righty, pitch to a left handed batter. This is precisely the opposite of what a competent manager would have done. A competent manager might also have let the best relief pitcher in the National League put that fire out. All the news this morning is about McClung beaning Pujols, but I refuse to believe that the loss of McClung and one base runner should make for a situation our bullpen can't get out of if you use them right.

The first mistake was breaking the Turnbow Rules. Turnbow is a very talented pitcher. But he's also totally bonkers. There are certain situations in which he dominates. There are other certain situations in which he loses games big time. After watching him pitch for a few seasons, it's pretty clear what these situations are. I really believe that Turnbow could be a useful tool out of the bullpen if our coaches followed these three simple rules:

1) Never pitch Turnbow two days in a row. Yost likes for him to be the 8th inning guy when we're ahead. The problem is that if we're ahead two days in a row, Turnbow pitches two days in a row. And he usually blows it one of those times. Turnbow's ERA on no rest is 8.72 (in 27 games). His ERA on one day of rest is 1.05 (26 in games)and on two days it's 0.00 (in 7 games). Turnbow should pitch every other day or so regardless of what the score is.

2) Only put Turnbow in in the beginning of an inning. Do not let him inherit any runners. They will score. Turnbow's opponent average when he starts an inning is .088. With runners on it's .241. With runners in scoring position it's .345. Opponent OBP in those situations is 323 and 424 respectively.

3) If Turnbow walks even ONE batter, pull him. You shouldn't walk any batters if you're the set up man. And Turnbow is most certainly not the kind of pitcher that takes a while to warm up. He's either on or off. And when he's off, he is OFF. When that levy cracks, the flood is coming unless you minimize the damage by pulling him.